Through Your Teeth
by brenslow
Summary: 〖Post-Tartaros〗 Levy struggles in the weeks following the war with Tartaros, and the disbanding of the guild; and to make things worse she has a decision to make, one that would change the dynamic of her relationship with him forever. (*Rewrite of Things Said Through Your Teeth*) 【this is also a gift】


**Quick Note**: this one-shot is a re-write of a drabble I did for a friend a few years ago. It is still listed on this profile and can be read but this version is arguably better.

* * *

It had been days at this point, if not already dragging into a second or even third week of moping, not that Levy could tell as she tried day-in and day-out to mask the anxious worry eating away at her insides; simply just trying to get through each day without much thought, because if she thought too much her mind always bolted back to _him_. She was antsy, trying to sit at the empty bar that was on the edge of town that hadn't been too destroyed by the battles, next to Gajeel, but the sound of metal crunching against his teeth was starting to aggravate her a bit;

"Gajeel," just one word came from her lips, but the dragon slayer knew without any other hint outside the tone of her voice, that she was about to start stressing again.

"Shrimp," was his response, eyes narrowing but he still placed the chunk of metal back on the small pile of bits and pieces, swallowing what was left and waiting to see what she would say next.

Levy knew Gajeel was walking on eggshells around her, since Bickslow and his team had been admitted to the infirmary after their encounter with Tempester she felt she had been walking on eggshells around herself even. The littlest things could trigger what Mira called panic attacks, and Levy had experienced them for a while shortly after Phantom Lord had attacked her team – but they were back. That alone was frustrating to her, never mind the fact Bickslow and his team _should_ have woken up by now. Each passing day left her more and more exhausted.

After Laxus and Gajeel were able to get a sample of blood from one of the demons, Porlyusica had successfully developed a cure for the anti-magic particles that were slowly destroying the Raijinshuu's bodies. Laxus shouldn't have even been able to stand when he fought that second round against the member of Tartaros, but he pulled through and Levy could only hope it had been in time for the cure to _work_. The healer though had only said it shouldn't take long, but ultimately, time will tell.

Levy hated that answer; she wasn't normally an angry person and could usually maintain a level head but the last few weeks had been _hell_. Absolute hell for herself, Gajeel, Bickslow, the Raijinshuu –– and every other member of the guild. Something horrible had even happened to her best friend Lu during the war with Tartaros. Levy wasn't sure yet, and now she was unsure if she would ever know because the guild had disbanded as well, and with Natsu leaving suddenly, Lu had disappeared just as quickly as everyone else.

The only reason she was in Magnolia still was to make sure Bickslow was alive and that she would be there when he woke up. Once she knew he was okay, she might have to leave herself, and that was another thought that pushed her to the point of hyperventilating whenever she thought too hard. She really had no idea on where she might go, and contemplated taking on a role with the newly reformed Magic Council at Mest's request. That would potentially keep her mind off the overwhelming emptiness that had consumed her since the reality sunk in.

Levy sighed then, pushing her empty glass to the other side of the bar counter, signalling she was done. She wanted to go back to Porlyusica's place, that's where Bickslow would be until he woke up. The batty woman would chase her out with a broom before too long no doubt, as she always did, grumbling about it being late, so Levy decided to head back before it really was too late in the evening. Levy barely made it a whole step away from the bar before Gajeel placed his arm in front of her.

"Y'know it's already too late to head back, Porly probs won't even let you in," he frowned when Levy's expression turned sour, as if the frown before wasn't bad enough, "I doubt there's been much change yet, we might be better checkin' in the mornin'… you need your sleep too,"

"I'll sleep when I'm dead, Gajeel," her tone was straight forward, and Gajeel let his arm down. He wouldn't stop her, considering _last_ time he tried to get her to go home after a few beers, rather than back to the healer's house… Levy had dropped a _lot_ of wood on him. Not iron, heavy but something he could at least benefit from – no, she dropped wood on him and _it hurt_ (only because he really was taken by surprise when she did that).

Levy beelined through Magnolia, heading for the forest's edge where Porlyusica had set up a location for her to look after the Raijinshuu until further notice – of course she didn't put them up in her own abode. Either determination, or alcohol, meant Levy couldn't feel just how cold the evening had gotten, and by the time she arrived her face, hands and thighs were red from the chill.

"What the hell are you doing up so late – and why are you back, I told you to go home," Porlyusica crossed her arms as she stood in front of the blue-haired mage that had just barged into the building.

"I want to stay, I want to be here if he wakes up," Levy didn't even look up at the healer, pushing past the usually terrifying old lady to head for the bed where Bickslow still remained motionless – aside from the rise and fall of his chest. Levy grabbed onto a stool as she walked over, setting it down carefully beside the Seith mages bed before taking a seat.

For a moment, Porlyusica thought about grabbing the broom to sweep the script mage from the building and send her home (again) like she had done nearly every night so far, but for once she caved and let her stay. The poor girl wasn't sleeping enough, and if being here maybe made things easier then who was Porlyusica to really tell her to leave – as much as she wanted to. So she turned away, shuffling to a back room that had a small cot set up for herself and shut the door behind her; it was easier to just stay here with the sick team than make the walk 2-3 times a day.

Levy heard the sound of a door clicking closed softly, and realized it was now just herself with the Raijinshuu, Bickslow specifically in front of her. His face had more colour to it today and the last few days, and Levy's hope was starting to rise slowly as she noticed the colour was more solid than it had been a few hours earlier even. A voice in the back of her mind reminded her to not get too excited, lest she be disappointed if she wakes up in the morning and he is still unconscious.

Leaning forward, she brushed a strand of his hair back, when it wasn't spiked up with gel the middle section was long enough to nearly cover his eyes now. He looked peaceful for once as well, and that made her feel a bit better for the first time since she'd seen him laying in the guild infirmary. She's could feel her chest tighten, tears threatening to spill as she let herself fall forward, sliding off the stool and her knees landing on the floorboards with a harsh thud as her head hit the empty space beside Bickslow's. Wrapping her arms around her face she let herself sob, aching so badly just to hear his voice again. Or even his laugh — or his babies would even suffice if they just had their own power to manifest.

"Levy?"

She froze, her heart thudding so loudly in her hears she was wondering if she had even heard anything at all; she was so tired and desperate she thought she was even imagining it — until she felt a hand on her shoulder, and it slowly moved across her back.

"Levy — look at me,"

She shot up from her kneeling position, knocking the stool over and it took everything in her last, tiny bit of remaining will power to not lunge at the Seith mage, his eyes were half opened, struggling to adjust to light for the first time in weeks. Not that he knew _that_ yet.

"Oh- oh god — Bickslow!" Levy did however, move to sit on the edge of the bed, Bickslow moving his arm to her face and she let her head rest in the palm of his hand for a moment. The feeling of his warmth had more tears falling from her eyes as his thumb brushed them away on one side. "I'm so-" she had to pause for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm her shaking before continuing. "I've missed you so much,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Bickslow, don't apologize. I'm just so happy you're finally awake,"

"Yeah? How long was I out?" He almost didn't want to know but he knew he'd find out anyways.

"A few weeks, almost 3," Levy could feel her heart rate finally start to settle, letting herself believe he really _was_ awake now. Truly, and not just some drunk dream.

"I need water..."

"Of course, let me get you some," she didn't want to pull away from him right then but had to. She rushed towards the kitchen sink, grabbing a glass to fill on the way, and returned within a few minutes. She passed him the glass, "Take small sips first, you haven't eaten either and could make yourself throw up,"

"I know, _Mom,_" Bickslow stuck his tongue out at her, revealing the Fairy Tail mark that was still on him.

It took everything to not flinch at the mark, he didn't need to know _quite_ yet that the guild had actually disbanded since he was last conscious. It was a shock to everyone who was there when Makarov made the announcement: Levy couldn't imagine having missed it and finding out later.

"What was that?"

_Shit, _"Nothing...?" _Double shit. _She tried to escape for a moment by turning to pick up the stool she'd knocked over, and put it back in the corner.

Bickslow always could tell when Levy was hiding something — well really, anyone could because she was a bad liar and wore her emotions loudly.

"Levy, I just woke up but I'm not stupid or anything. Usually. I know you though, what's wrong?"

She sat back down on the mattress beside him, grabbing his hand she could feel another wave of tears building up but she took a deep breath and pushed the feeling down. "Fairy Tail also disbanded..." _so much for not telling him yet. _There was no point in trying to hide anything from him though, he'd pester her until she cracked and she knew she already wouldn't last long. Not that she had the will to argue either.

"Oh..." he didn't pull away but turned his head to look up at the ceiling. "Well that fuckin' sucks,"

"Yeah..."

They fell into silence for a few minutes, not awkward, just a sad air between them as Levy let Bickslow continue to process the news.

_Three weeks, and the guild is gone._ Bickslow didn't know how to feel about the information... it seemed a bit unreal but why would Levy lie to him?

"Is everyone gone?"

"For the most part."

"You're still here,"

"Because you are..."

"Is that it?"

"...yes,"

Another minute of silence passed.

"I'm glad you're still here at least,"

Those words cut into Levy's heart, like a serrated knife; ripping and damaging as it went. Not even a full hour ago she had been contemplating truly taking the job with Mest and the new Council, but now she would throw that away in a heart beat to stay with him. Even though she knew she _couldn't _stay.

"You're making a face again,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't be, unless there's more..." and for a moment Bickslow felt like whatever else there might be — he _really_ didn't want to know. Her silence and the way she now avoided looking at his face entirely... it was bad.

"I - I don't know how to say it," she felt Bickslow's grip on her hand tighten. "I really care about you, I think... I think I even love you but I don't know. I just know I'm torn, I have been so miserable while you've been here, unconscious. A lot has happened, and I don't know what to do,"

Bickslow didn't speak, he just continued to hold her hands as tightly as he could without hurting her.

"I can't stay in Magnolia," she finally managed to say; but as soon as the words were out she felt like she had no air, almost like she was in the dark water with Gajeel, and everything hurt as the anti-magic particles in the water around them tried to break through her skin to get to the magic inside of her. A part of the battle she desperately fought to forget even more than Bickslow's injuries when she'd drown herself at the bar to the point Gajeel or Lily would have to carry her home.

"I know," she felt Bickslow sit up in bed, groaning at stiff muscles and joints having barely moved in days.

"H-hey, careful,"

"I'm okay, baby, I'm okay," he pulled her into a hug, gripping her as tightly and planting a kiss on her forehead - slightly sideways as he rested his cheek on her hair.

He felt Levy break down in his arms, her tears dripping and then soaking through the bandages that were wrapped around his lower abdomen. "If you need to leave, I know. I think if the guild is gone, then when Freed and Ever wake up, we might leave as well,"

"I don't want to lose you - or leave you,"

"I'll _always_ love you,"

Levy could hardly bare the tightness in her chest as another wave of sobs overtook her. She was probably loud, but she was in too much pain to really care. Bickslow's arms were around her and he was all but saying she _could_ go - he didn't even know where she might be going, and didn't offer to follow either.

"And I'm sure whatever is pulling you away right now may be worth it, and if it makes you happy then I'll be happy too,"

Levy placed a hand on Bickslow's chest then, slowly pushing herself back to look up at his face. There was sorrow, but understanding — and a pain she felt was caused by her.

"Where will _you _go? I don't want to lose contact at least, everyone else left before I could speak to them..."

"I dunno yet, the three of us will probably stick together and I imagine Laxus is already off somewhere on another continent again if it's really all gone,"

"It's still in a pile of rubble," Levy spoke softly about the ruined guild hall. One night in the last few days, she couldn't remember exactly which, but she'd managed to throw Gajeel off by burying him with wood and and saying she was going to see Bickslow. She really went to the edge of town where the remains of the hall looked like a desolate, cold pile of garbage. Levy had gotten fairly upset, and angrily knocked down one of the few remaining standing sections of wall with a bunch of different elements before storming off to a hotel for the night rather than going home.

"Not even cleaned up?"

"No,"

"Well, that's a bit rude."

"I think everyone is afraid to really admit its gone, even the towns people. It's like, Magnolia isn't Magnolia _without _Fairy Tail,"

"I agree,"

Levy had finally calmed down from the worst of her crying, and was now just enjoying the bit of conversation she was getting with Bickslow. It had sort of gone over her head in the moment, but they'd both admitted to loving each other, hers disguised as a maybe but deep down she knew she really did love him.

"I don't _think_ I love you. I _know _I do," she said then. "I think I'll always love you, too, so I really don't want to lose contact... even if we go our separate ways for a while..."

"Of course."

"I got offered a job with the new Magic Council, Mest offered it to me. I'd be in Crocus,"

"Then I'll send you letters," Bickslow places another kiss to her forehead, before leaning just enough to capture her lips.

"Okay, loveshits! That's enough,"

The sound of Porlyusica flinging open her bedroom door and stomping into the room interrupted their brief kiss.

Levy sighed, and felt the _whack_ of a broom hit her in the side of the head.

"He's awake! I need to do an exam and assess the damage now that he is, and that means YOU!" The healer pointed a sharp index finger at Levy, "YOU need to leave now!"

"Fine, just - OW" Porlyusica hit her with the broom again, "Let me say goodnight then,"

The healer huffed, not raising her broom to take another swing — but ready to the moment she decided the goodbye was long, and gross sounding, enough.

"I'll come by and see you tomorrow morning, okay?" Levy placed another kiss to her boyfriends lips.

"Okay, I love you,"

"I love you too, Bickslow"

And with that, Levy hurriedly left the building, only because she didn't want to be smacked for a fifth time by that god damn broom.

During the walk, she could feel tears prick at her eyes. She was heading home that night, but wouldn't be staying; there was a late train out of Magnolia to Crocus that would have her and Gajeel there by morning. It was a horrible feeling, having just told Bickslow she loved him, that she'd see him tomorrow but knowing she was leaving that night. She had no idea how long Bickslow would be staying in Magnolia, but she had a feeling if he was waking, his team wasn't far behind and they'd be out of Magnolia as fast as they could go. She would try to write him once maybe... apologize for leaving this way but she knew if she did go back in the morning, she might not follow this new path, one she felt she needed to move on with her life.

She would always love Bickslow, he said the same but wondered if he really would love her just as much after this.


End file.
